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When you’re in your 20s, pretty much anything goes when it comes to dating. Singles tend to be more carefree and have more energy to date. Ya, breakups are hard but you’re young and you’ll meet someone later in life so it’s no biggie. However, when you’re dating in your 30s you may have more of a sense of urgency and there are certain things to keep in mind.
Here are the 6 things you need to know:
1. Happy hours are something to take full advantage of.
Many single people in their 30s are working full-time jobs. That means, they’re going to bed and getting up earlier than they were in their 20s.
Founded in 2014, Bumble has become a go-to for 30-somethings, specifically 30-something women who are tired of receiving inappropriate messages and photos on other dating apps. Here, only the women can send the first message. But if you’re gay, lesbian, or bisexual, either person can send the first message. Originally a Facebook app, Zoosk is now one of the largest dating sites out there, with over 30 million downloads since its launch in 2007. Today, it has over a million active users, according to Statista—and 500,000 of those are paying members, which means more than half of the users are seriously committed to find a match. The Best Dating Apps for 2021. Whether you're looking for a casual hookup, a serious relationship, or even a marriage, we've tested all the major competitors so you don't have to waste time you.
“Happy hours are a great place to meet single people because it’s something social you can do right after work and still make sure you’re home at a reasonable hour,” says Paige, 32, from New York.
2. Looks stop being the number one priority.
Someone’s looks will still catch our eye, but won’t always keep your attention once you’re in your 30s. In other words, when you’re more serious about finding someone for the long term, things like values, politics, life goals, and interests will start to mean a lot more than a bucket list of physical traits.
3. Dating apps can become your favorite wingman/woman.
It’s a common yet legit excuse not to go out and meet people—you’re too tired after working all day. Singletons in their 30s may take their dating apps more seriously in terms of looking for a relationship because as much as they want to be out meeting people, often, work/life schedules may not allow for it.
“It may seem lazy to some, but at the end of the day, it’s easier and more relaxing for me to meet people online, while I am home relaxing, than spending an extra two to three hours out after work trying to meet women,” says Ryan, 37, from Sacramento, CA.
4. You’re not in your 20s anymore.
Remember being in your early 20s and seeing those obvious, older bachelors and cougars prowling around the younger crowds? You don’t want to be that older creeper.
“My friend and I went to this club we used to frequent in our mid-20s. After a few minutes and realizing that we were the oldest guys in the place, we left and went to a sports bar. The look I got from girls was like ‘check out the old guys.’ Those late nights partying at clubs are over,” says Mark, 35, from Atlanta.
5. You’ll want to know right away if it’s going anywhere.
Time flies when you’re in your 30s. When you realize that the next decade you hit 40, aka midlife, you’ll realize that you don’t have time to just “date for fun” anymore. Daters in their 30s usually feel like there’s no point in spending time with someone anymore if a date isn’t clicking after the fourth, second, or even first date. Next!
6. You can still be confused about what you want.
The truth is, people in their 30s may still be unsure of the kind of relationship they want. One day, you could be looking for your partner for life. The next day, you could decide you just want a friend with benefits.
“When I turned 36, I thought maybe I was just meant to be single. I wasn’t meeting the right guys and decided that I would be fine on my own. I could travel, date on my terms, and just live my own life. Then I met [Jay] and couldn’t imagine my life without him in it,” says Abby, 37, from Albany.
Being in your 30s is a transition period. You’re definitely not ‘old’ yet, but your not your younger self either. You may look like you’re still in your 20s, but you don’t feel like you’re in your 20s anymore. And this transition period is actually a really great time to date. It’s different than your 20s, you don’t just ‘meet someone out’ or ‘text you later.’ Dates aren’t formal but they are planned. When people aren’t interested, they know how to be mature about it. And you’re a little bit older and wiser too. Not much, mind you. But just enough to make things interesting.
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People have a lot of opinions about dating in your 30s. Even though the whole idea of dating is much simpler when you are in your 30s, the actual process is tougher than you think. When you are over 30, you know that you aren’t as feather-brained and free-spirited as you were a decade ago, which makes it easier for you to understand your requirements from a potential partner. However, the exhaustion that comes with going out and rejecting losers and not having a bunch of single ladies to party with also limits your possibilities of finding said perfect date. This is why there exists some of the best dating apps for 30 somethings.
Suggested read: Does Online Dating Work? 13 Compelling Reasons Why It Might NOT
If I were writing this 10 years ago, I wouldn’t know what to tell you to increase your chances of meeting someone special. However, we have arrived at the thriving digital age, and there is nothing that you cannot accomplish online. There are a number of apps made just for people over 30 and some inclusive apps which aren’t brimming with immature and youthful energy that you could use to accelerate your dating life.
Here are some of the best dating apps for 30 somethings, which could save you an exhausting night out and a bad hangover, looking for potential baes.
- Coffee Meets Bagel
Image source: coffeeandbagels.com
This is one of the most sought after dating apps for people who are tired of the whole swiping culture. After all, swiping through people is like shopping for dates, which is a concept we can get on board with when we are in our 20s, but not when we are in our 30s. After a while, you tend to get picky and choosy about who you are dating.
Coffee Meets Bagel is an app that allows women and men to match with a limited number of people every day, which allows you to be more careful and specific about who you are dating. Because of this, the rate of success stories from this app is also higher than others, and is the perfect mature platform for 30 somethings to find love on.
- Match
Image source: match.com
Match is one of the most sought after dating sites and apps for 30 somethings. It is like Tinder, only more dynamic and much better, because the chances of you meeting someone you might actually vibe with is much more.
The thing about young people dating sites like Tinder and Ok Cupid is that people on there are mostly looking for flings and hookups and short term dating. Match.com only guarantees potential dating candidates how are looking for something more serious, and I am assuming that you are tired of casual flings and one night stands when you are in your thirties. Even though this is paid platform, one cool feature about this is, you get the next 6 months of your subscription free if you don’t find someone special within the first 6 months of you using this app.
- Bumble
Image source: bumble.com
Bumble is in the same league as Tinder and Ok Cupid when it comes to popularity. However, just like it is highly sought after by the youth, it is also a great place for people over 30 to find love. The pool of people that you will have access to on Bumble is so large that it takes away some of the exclusivity of the app. However, one good thing about it is that once you match with someone, you have to message them within 24 hours, or they have to do the same in order to keep up the conversation.
This ensures that you don’t have to deal with a lot of the time wasting elements that you find on other dating apps.
Suggested read: These Words In Your Online Dating Profile Will Find You Love
- Happn
Image source: happn.com
This one ranks high on our list of some of the best dating apps that you can use if you are 30 and above. Apps like Tinder and OkC have a lot of problems and clauses that you just don’t have time to deal with when you are 30 and above. Happn fixes most of those problems, which is why you should totally check this one out if you are getting into the world of online dating.
It connects you to people that you have interacted with in some way or the other in the virtual world. In big cities, where you have a lot of online connections, it feels somewhat real and organic to talk to someone you might have interacted with before. So even if you are meeting online, you get the feeling of dating in real life.
- Elite Singles
Image source: elitesingles.com
In your 20s, you are still figuring life out. You are completing your education, trying out different jobs and testing the waters of life to see where you fit. By the time you are 30, hopefully you have figured out most of these things and are at a relatively stable place in your life.
You don’t want to deal with ambiguity and experimentation when you are dating, which is where dating sites like Elite Singles comes in. This is a site which connects you with professionals in the same field as you, and those who have the same level of education as you do, if that is an important factor in your dating agenda. It is also a wonderful place for the LGBTQ community to meet people in the same professional sphere as them.
- First Met
Image source: firstmet.com
Even though this is a platform that can be accessed by people belonging to any age bracket, a survey by the company showed that less than 3% of its users belonged to the 18-29 age bracket, while most of their users were 30 and above.
This is perhaps because of the way this site is designed- to be simple, straightforward and effective, things which might not be very exciting for the youth, who are looking for casual but exciting encounters with strangers. First Met helps you match with people who have similar tastes and likes and hobbies as you do, which seems like a string premise to meet someone over and vibe with them and start a conversation with them.
- Sparkology
Image source: sparkology.com
People in their 30s and above are usually looking for something serious, this is something we have amply established. Most dating sites and apps don’t have a way to determine whether the people who are on their site are genuine or not, or whether they are serious or not. This problem is solved when you use Sparkology, which only allows highly qualified and educated men on their website.
It is a little weird because women are not asked about their professional or educational qualification on here. Men are also assigned points, according to how serious they are, and unless you have an active dating profile on Sparkology, you get kicked off. This is a good thing, and we can see a number of serious single 30 years olds getting on board with this.
- eHarmony
Image source: eHarmony.com
eHarmony is another very popular dating site which is accessed mostly by people who are above the age of 30. This is because it is more of a matrimonial site, where people are either looking for a very serious relationship, or a person they can actually get married to. This is the perfect site for those people who are tired of getting played, stood up, not taken seriously, taken too seriously, etc.
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The only con of this site is the sheer number of people who are on here. Getting access to this many options can be slightly overwhelming if you are trying to be subtle and quiet about the whole online dating thing. Other than that however, there are no major cons that may put you off this site.
Suggested read: 12 Common Misconceptions About Online Dating That Are Far From True
- The League
Image source: theleague.com
As you grow older, your workplace becomes a more serious and formal place where you have to function on a daily basis. However, you also have to be on dating sites and online dating apps, which will allow you to meet people. You don’t want these two worlds to collide, and when you make yourself available on public platforms like this, your world are bound to overlap.
If you are very uncomfortable with your peers and co-workers finding out about your personal life and especially your love life, then you can check out The League, which is considered a premium dating site for people who are 30 and above. The best thing about it is that it blocks all your contacts from Facebook and LinkedIn, so that your goings on, remain private.
As you can see, there is no dearth of options when it comes to dating in your 30s. We have listed for you’re the best dating apps for 30 somethings, so you shouldn’t have trouble finding someone who is not only special, but also legit!
Featured image source: Google, copyright-free image, under Creative Commons License